Holy Tornado

To see the soul of your comrade listen carefully to his music.

Friday, July 21, 2006

CAN OF WORMS?

I don't know where this came from. I just found it in one of my files this morning.


21 Ways to be a Good Democrat
(Wait. Is that an oxymoron?)

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teachers who cannot teach 4th-graders how to read and write are somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters do not care about nature, but activists, who have never been outside of San Francisco, do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. 11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism has not worked anywhere it has been tried is because the right people have not been in charge.
18. You have to believe that conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and that manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that Democratic Party funding by the Chinese government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, Right-Wing conspiracy.