Holy Tornado

To see the soul of your comrade listen carefully to his music.

Monday, January 23, 2006

DIETERS POEM

I found the following poem written by the late Victor Buono. I hope it gives you a good laugh, just like it gave me.

"Lord, my soul is ripped with riot,
Incited by my wicked diet,
"We are what we eat," said a wise old man.
Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
I want to rise on judgement day, that's plain,
But at my present weight I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength that I may not fall,
Into the clutches of cholesterol!
May my flesh with carrot curls be sated,
That my soul may be polyunsaturated.
And show me the light that I may bear witness
To the President's council on Physical Fitness,
And oleo margerine I'll never mutter,
For the road to hell is spread with butter.
And cream is cursed, and cake is awful,
And satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in provolone.
The devil is in each slice of bologna.
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop
And Lucifer is a lollyopop.
Give me this day, my daily slice
But cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
Deliver me from Ju-Jubees!
And when my days of trial are done
And my war with malted milks is won,
Let me stand with the saints in heaven
In a shining robe, size thirty-seven!
I can do it Lord, if you'll show to me
the virtues of lettuce and celery
If you'll teach me the evils of mayonnaise
And the sinfullness of hollandaise
And pasta Milanese
And potatoes a la Lyonnaise,
And crisp fried chicken from the south.
Lord, if you love me, SHUT MY MOUTH!
end
Note: I typed this in a lovely chocolate brown. :)